The Badass Playlist: Our Retired Explorer.

I'm not sure when or why I started listening to The Weakerthans, but they'll always remind me of high school. Walking to school in the snow before my friend Sydney had a car, or on days she slept through first period. 

The singer used to be in Propagandhi, but I definitely prefer this band. Something about people screaming about anarchy and veganism grates on the nerves after a while. 


 I've mentioned it before, but I do find that Canadian artists are really visual. It's really obvious in this song, where the lyrics are basically descriptions of nature meant to go with the "retired explorer" vibe of the thing. Once you get used to the singer's voice (it took me a bit), the lyrics are pretty excellent to any song by this band.

Not going to lie to you, my favourite part of this is "Comment allez-vous ce soir?/ Je suis comme ci comme ça/ Yes, a penguin taught me French / Back in Antarctica", because French penguins would be adorable.

If you like this song, look into the band! A couple of my favourites are "The Reasons", "Plea From a Cat Named Virtute" and "One Great City", but I can't think of one I don't like.

DIE HARD IS AMAZING.

I do not remember it being that good. Holy Jesus, that was easily the best movie of all time. ALL TIME, Y'ALL.
The witty=quipping-to-himself, the supporting characters of amazingness, the vaguely Christmassy yet ominous score throughout, the otherwise not that hot Bruce Willis being SMOKING HOT AND INJURED AND THE MOST INTERMINABLY BADASS CHARACTER TO EVER BE CHARACTERIZED!!
Seriously. Christmas tradition was just born.

Merry Christmas!

How was your day? Mine was really good. Watched Toy Story 3, cried my eyes out.
My sister bought me a set of all the Die Hard dvds. ALL OF THEM.
AAAALLLL FOUR OF THEM.
AWW YEAH.

Anyway, Merry Christmas.

FUCK TAYLOR SWIFT.

FUCK HER, I HATE THAT BITCH.  Does she seriously need to be the most annoying person in the known universe AND ALSO DATE JAKE GYLLENHAAL?!! WHAT THE PSYCHOTIC FUCKBAG IS THIS?

As much as I love him,  I simply cannot get on board with this Taylor Swift-dating that he's doing. Why would he think for even a minute that dating a whiny teenage country singer who looks like Cindy Lou Who had a baby with a dopey bunny is a good thing for him to be doing right now EVER?

It makes me question his judgement and his character in general. I'm loathe to even think such a thing, but... Taylor Swift might be ruining Jake Gyllenhaal for me.
And for that she must die.

She's contaminating the hot. 

Blargh, I say! Blarrrrgghh!!

Readers. All two of you. I've been neglecting you. This is not because I love you any less than I did in September, and it is not your fault (nor was my divorce from your father, that was just grownup business). It's just because I'm not sure if anyone would want the mental vomit I'd be churning out lately.
I may actually be losing my mind.
Can we put that on my list of fears? Right up there with being trapped, birds, and being trapped with birds? Excellent, thank you.

The Badass Playlist: Sheep Go To Heaven.

Let's talk about Cake. I wanted to give it to you. I wanted to post the creepy video for this song. Really, I did!
But then... then youtube showed me this incredibly adorable cover, and I decided to provide you with that instead.

I love this song. Possibly because I'm a goat and it's nice to know there are others who are managing to not fail miserably at all things. Also it makes me think of that bit someone said about to going to hell for the company.. I'll look up what it is that I'm thinking of, exactly.

OH HELL YES. OF COURSE IT WAS MARK TWAIN. 

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."

That's what it was.

I hope there's an afterlife, because I will punch ethereal(/demonic, as the case may be) bitches in the throats in order to get in touch with Mark Twain. 

Have you seen the mustache he was rocking, for one thing? That there is a man.

But back on the topic of this song! The man doing the cover is Lisa's future husband, and I will make that happen by whatever means necessary. Enjoy!
 =)

Ewan McGregor, you guys.

I want him.
I want him and his motorcycle globetrotting.
I want him and his motorcycle globetrotting and his BEARD.
I want him and his motorcycle globetrotting and his BEARD and his SCOTTISH ACCENT.

What more could a girl possibly want? A bearded Scotsman who travels the world on a motorcycle? PERFECT HUSBAND. Just give me two minutes to learn to ride what is essentially half a car but without the containment provided by a roof, and we'll ride off into the sunset.

Motorcycles: Safe enough for real men.

What is it with me and beards lately? If anyone has some insight into this issue, I'd love to hear it.

The Badass Playlist: Coochie

Sooo, MAYBE I like this song a bit because there's a woman with my name in it being considered sexy by Ludacris.
BUT ALSO IT'S SUPER CATCHY.

Here's the first version I heard, the Blakroc one:

(A brief analysis: This song is a tribute to the vagina. )

AWESOME, RIGHT? I love songs about sexy ladies with minimal rapper bravado! Well... there's some bravado happening here. Ol' Dirty Bastard referring to himself as "the king" (of what, ODB? Please specify.) as part of some misguided attempt to get this honey named Renee to let him hit it again, Ludacris' little "aren't I dope" line, which may or may not be sincere... Ah, well. it's close. And these ladies, while being definitely objectified and fictional, are at least people with names and stuff, right? This pleases me.


Unrelated: Ol' Dirty Bastard was kinda scary-sounding. Did you know he's dead? I did not, until I looked him up. Turns out he's been dead for six years, and was the original artist of this song!
For reference, here is the original version.

Exact same lyrics, probably even the same recording of said lyrics, but totally different beat, and without the Black Keys' instumental business. Interesting, right?
I'm definitely in favour of the Blakroc version because of the incredibly sexy/drugtastic guitar/fuzzy noisemaker work, but it's interesting to know that version is somewhat of a remix! For some reason I imagined Dan Auerbach and Ludacris chillin' together during the production of this song, drinking beer and such.
Hopefully that still happened.